I don't think it sounds hard, to be honest.

She says it's not worth the mere argument to try and lay down rules.

Seems like more of a personal issue. And the fact that she is hard to deal with is magnifying it, sure.

You're looking for a fix for your daughter, but to me it seems like your not even giving it your all. So what do you expect? Honestly, why don't you just tranquilizer her.