Hello. I am a teen your daughters age, and to me, that does sound extreme. I'm always surprised how so many teens are defiant. I have too much anxiety to be defiant. I consider myself very submissive. I am not sure if it would be classified as bipolar, but I'm no professional and if they said she has teen-onset bipolar, that may be a possibility because they must have found she fits the DSM V criteria.

Anyways, I have a few things to tell you. I have mental illness (if you care, see DXs below), and one thing I wish I could have is a parent who cares that I have mental illness and wants to help. My mom is in major denial about it and thinks it's all hormonal, but I have run basically every hormonal test possible with nothing out of the ordinary. They want to check estrogen levels now. And my dad, well, doesn't deny it, but never wants to bring it up and sometimes says I just need it to go away some how. It's just not that easy, but my dad is willing to take me to a therapist or councillor or whatever I need.

Next, I suggest you also get your child to get tested for ADHD. Many children diagnosed with bipolar disorder also have ADHD. This may also be the case since you said she was previously DXed with ODD, and 40-60% of people with ADHD have ODD also. This may explain more issues that are underlying. I suggest you try to look into that and read up on ADHD and bipolar comorbidity. Here is a link I found online, but this site also has a bunch of information for disorders related to ADHD:
https://www.mentalhelp.net/articles/adhd-comorbidity/

Last thing, my neighbour's kids (two boys) both have ADHD. One has combined type and the other predominantly inattentive. The one with combined type has ODD also. From stories I hear, you need to work on a reward/punishment based system. With them, I hear that the kid with ODD's parents let him do whatever he wants because they don't want to argue with him. He basically rules the house. He failed high school with an average of 40% roughly. They let him have parties, drink, whatever. You need to discourage this behaviour. It's really hard to do so though, especially if they are DXed with a mental disorder with fighting back and defying in their health description, but you need to work with it. Say if she doesn't come home before 10, as an example, you don't let her have her phone or the WiFi. You take her phone away or change the WiFi password so she doesn't know it. She will probably fight back, but explain to her that she can have it back if she comes back before 10 the next day, as an example. You could also try family therapy, but she needs to be willing to do it. My friend's dad has BPD, and therapy is out of the question for him because he denies he has anything wrong with him, and he also probably has conduct disorder too. If they are just going to deny it, you need to help them accept it. You will get no where if they don't want to believe it.

Anyways, these are my suggestions. I hope you can help your daughter. I wish my parents would help me more and accept that I have a lot of anxiety. I haven't even told my parents I was recently DXed with OCD either because of fear and judgment that they'll say I don't have it or whatever.

Social anxiety disorder, GAD, OCD, and panic attacks

Lexapro, 10 mg