OK. Quick update , important. Had to talk to her for some reason and as usual I got into it with her so I lost it and called her something I don't like to say or hear. And I've said and heard a lot. I then hung up.

I immediately texted her back and apologized profusely.

Guess who the reply came from ? Not my soon to be ex-wife , but one of my daughters !( Her and her husband just moved into my ex-house to "help" my ex and themselves.) Now my daughter and I don't talk or see each other , ( her choice ). Anyway she burned me at the stake using words that I know would come out of my ex's mouth. Her last sentence was she doesn't want to associate with someone who would call his wife a ****.

NOW. There's the proof I've been looking for and suspecting all along !!! There's no way she could have known I said that word unless my ex-wife told her !
That B**** has been doing this for years. Sabotaging my relationship with them. I don't believe children of any age should hear about their parents business. But all these years every time we had an argument they would be the first to know the details.

Anyhow I was so angry and hurt that I told my wife she better hand in those final papers to my lawyer or we're heading for court. ( She never handed in the final papers because of financial reasons , therefore I wasn't legally divorced yet.)

Well I got an email from her saying she was going to comply ! The papers will be handed into the court and they will issue a final decree. FINALLY BREAKING THAT UMBILICAL CORD ! I needed this done to really move on.
You know it was almost 40 years.
I was going to put all kinds of happy and crazy emoticons but I can't.
This is only a temporary moment of happiness. I now willl truly be free.

But with freedom comes responsibility. I have to learn how to live.
I found the word I was looking for , bittersweet . It was bitter and sweet.
What a contradiction ! But the perfect word to describe how my life was in my marriage. Actually it's a good word to describe life itself.

Ok. I'm shutting up now before I get all misty eyed.
I tend to get emotional and philosophical.
Two minutes ago I was happy typing this great news I've been waiting for
and now I'm crying. Wow.

Well , as they say in certain places , thanks for listening. And your support.

& a to you guys