I am about 3 weeks from starting to taper Seroquel unless something changes between now and then. I'd love to say that I'm better but I think I am just less stressed but the big symptoms are still here.

I was ok with it. I'd read about it a lot and felt comfortable. And now I read some patient rating site and am scared again. So many side effects. So much sedation. I don't get sedated easily so probably less likely to be a problem for me, especially if the dose stays as low as my pdoc hopes. But I don't want to be like the people on that board.

I know that those things tend to attract those with bad experiences more than good. I know that I've read plenty and feel (felt) that this wasn't worse than other drugs I've tried except for the labs and potential for problems with my immune system.

But right now I just want to say NOOOOOOOOO! and go back on a higher dose of lithium and deal with the toxicities as they come. I don't think that's going to be allowed and my pdoc has told me that her experiences with this stuff have not been negative but still....scary.

I think this is all blown up because I saw a picture of myself today and realized that while I lost 15 lbs in the months of depression my weight all shifted to my belly and I look really, really fat right now and as I suspected my clothes don't look like they fit. I don't have the energy to exercise more than walking the dogs and that doesn't seem to affect my weight. I don't know if I can push myself into exercising. I guess I'll be trying. But with no energy and no motivation and not much sleep (not to mention I can barely get myself to shower, much less do more than that) it will be pretty hard.

I'm probably going on metformin soon but one drug change at a time.