Sorry you are so down. Did you talk to your therapist? What does she say?

Personally I would suggest to get out because I don't believe in staying in miserable marriage. Would you consider working? Going on disability? Anything not to depend on him? You probably get some alimony and fit sure big child support. But then with your mental health would he want full custody? He might have the kids full time. And you would most likely have to work or be in disability etc after divorce. A lot to consider

Also I know you shared before that you are having an affair. Is that still on or is over? Maybe divorce would be devastating for you husband but leaving him (I think) might be less devastating than finding out about affairs? Or he knows? Do these affairs make your life more manageable or less do?

Oh what about marriage counseling?

These are all tough decisions.

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