Hello,
It's not selfish of you to want to leave, you have look after yourself. But have you ever sat with your husband to explain that you can't take it anymore? Have you ever tried marriage counselling, as divine1966 suggested?
As you said, your depression has affected your husband as well, so it's only fair that you discuss that with him before you make any decision on your own.
He wasn't nasty or violent towards you, he's been supportive to the best of his ability, so I think that he deserves that much.
Can I ask, how old are your children?
You said you've been married for 21 years, so I'm assuming that the youngest must be on his/her late teens.
If that's the case they are well able to understand, in case you decide to split from your husband.
One thing for sure, is that you cannot continue suffering like that. You said that many people will be hurt if you leave, but ask yourself: how long more can you take?
So, sit down with your husband and explain your situation to him. He probably already knows, but he also probably need to hear it from you. Maybe you both can try and fix your marriage, reach an agreement, make things livable... or maybe not.
But the important thing is to talk.
I wish you the best.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia
I've been married for 21 yrs.
I have 3 young children.
I have a house. A car. Hubby doesn't complain about money & I don't work. I have everything a suburban housewife could want!
Then why am I so miserable! My husband had stuck with me thru several suicide attempts, med changes, counseling, self harm & ECT to name a few. All this had effected him & we've slowly drifted apart. We are not the same people we were when we fell in love.
So I stay.
I stay for my children. Out of guilt and bec of obligation. I am also financially dependent on my husband. The thought of leaving terrifies me!
Am I being selfish? After everything he's done for me it would be horrible of me to leave. Right? I don't love him anymore.
I know that if I'd leave many many people will be hurt.
I feel so very trapped. I'd like someone to step in & guide me bec I know I'll fall on my face. It makes me feel like dirt!
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