I don't know exactly how it happened... after a lot of talking about my feelings for/about her with her, and much writing on the subject, I got to where I realized that it wasn't so much her that I love but what I was always making her represent (that's the projections/transference I guess) mostly it was me experiencing her as my grandma who practically raised me and who passed away when I was 15 (37 years ago) and I just told her the other day that after i'd told her that bit at our previous session, realizing it wasn't so much her i loved but the projection (her word), I felt very sad for a few days, it was like I had lost my grandma all over again. and she said that's because you pulled back your projection. That almost made it sound like a bad t hing, the way she said it, but of course i didn't ask, i let it drop at that point. I think I'm going to bring it up again next time.