Quote:
Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey
Some.....people.....are just a bit....selfish. They can't see beyond their own little worlds. That is, if *they* don't want to do something, they simply don't do it, regardless of the consequences, i.e. hurting their kids, partner, whomever.
I honestly think that a big part of relationships is simply doing things to make your partner happy. Ok, so don't get me wrong, I don't believe in bowing down and doing anything to make someone else happy.....what I believe is that there are never going to be two people who become partners and enjoy each and every activity the exact same. Sometimes one person may not enjoy something as much, but they should engage in it for the well-being of their partner. One of my "friends" tells me that he doesn't believe in holidays because they're just the same as any other day, and that he doesn't remember birthdays. I told him that its insulting that he doesn't wish me a happy birthday after five years given that he owns a d@mn smart phone and can take two seconds to program in a yearly reminder. Now I've gone off on my own tangent, but my point is that people need to stop being so darn selfish and realize that they need to be there for others, even if they're not 10000% in the mood to do so. (And does your husband realize how much he's hurting his son with these shenanigans? Its hurtful for a kid to hear from a parent that a holiday has essentially been canceled because the parent isn't in the mood!)
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My husband is an only child of elderly parents. His parents are so strange and he learned from them. R (my husband) is genius smart and professionally excellent, but all he does is watch TV or stay glued to his Smart Phone-- no kidding. He doesn't think about anybody else. No matter how I feel or what I say, he can't change.
I don't even think he's being passive-aggressive about the holidays, which he has always tormented me with. He just won't play my reindeer games! It hurts so bad, I've cried and been debilitatingly depressed. It's not about the stupid present. There isn't even anything I want. It's the thought, it's the normalcy, it's having any expectation and having that dashed and being disappointed.
Even our sex life is like this. That is the worst part of it. I've started divorce twice before and couldn't go through with it.. I accept it now, done trying to set myself free.
I think, because this time he was going to hurt our kid, that I found the strength to not let that happen.
I think I have Relationship OCD because I keep thinking that I never felt right and don't really belong with this man. How could me be the right one when I have always been so unhappy with him? But, no matter how I have tried to work things out, they never did. And I tell myself that if he was really all that great, he never would have settled for me (such low self esteem).
And, the shirt I bought him is sitting open in the box. I will leave it sitting there on the kitchen table. He will leave it sitting there forever, if I don't go and hang it up.
He's not malicious, just really lazy.