Hi. Just reading your post. Really interesting. I think you're doing your partner of 30 years a great disservice by not sharing with her your innermost feelings. Seeing as how you're not gay or transsexual or into cross dressing I don't see what the trouble is. I would love it if my husband could relate to me on a more feminine level (been married 25 years) You don't specify what is holding you back but maybe you think she can't handle it. Your kids really don't need to know but I think your wife does. Ask yourself 'what's the worse that can happen?' & go from there.
R