I lived with a husband for 33 years...high IQ no common sense. Only did things when I pushed. No emotional connection all those years. He was oldest of a family of 4 kids & I was the only child of socially dysfunctional parents. I knew what I thought should be normal but neither my growing up nor my marriage were that. I left husband after 33 years of living in the same house...that was 8 years ago. It was only 1 1/2 years ago that the light went on as to what had been going on when I researched Asperger's. So much had felt passive aggressive but the research described & explained everything I had experienced all those years. It didn't make me want to go back because of the understanding but at least I realized what the problem was that caused the behaviors I had struggled so long with & had ended up destroying us financially when I got too sick to be the one in charge.

You never know the whys you might find out with research. Not easier to tolerate but understanding the whys really helped me understand my reactions & validate them.