Thanks Junerain!
If no one else comments on this subject, I think I'm ok..What you told me is a great start. I wrote on a post-it your main points and stuck it to my computer. I just went back to counseling so it gives me a chance to release some anxiety and to talk about my fears. THAT'S why two people stopped writing after I told them about losing my son? When I think about it that's something you tell face to face, and then not right away. It's hard not to feel like damaged goods, or to feel like I just don't have what it takes to have a healthy relationship. That maybe I should wait until I "weller". (when I'm 100) I'm not going to give up. I'll try to believe that that kind, sensitive, intelligent woman that I appear to be, that others say I am, is really me, and not some imposter. Thanks a hundred times..
dorsey