Ive tried a relaxation exercise that relaxed me at first but now i feel conpletely messed up because it relaxed me and what relaxed me was thinking about having a shower with warm blood, getting my white bathrobe dirty with red stains and leaving my bloody footsteps on the floor... I felt relaxed and agitated because i wasnt meant to think about that stuff. Yet i did and worked but if i am relaxed, why am i here?