Good for you! You went " two months without self harm, and fiv months without cutting" ... that's wonderful. Okay, so you have a set back... and begin again. That IS how it works...and perhaps you will go even longer this time ... and before you know it... you won't even think about this "need" now in your life.

As for finding resources for disability, being in the USA, have you tried calling or stopping by your local hospital's ER? They used to always have social workers there and never charged for conversation ---and they always had a wealth of resources to call and contact regarding whatever your need is... they work at you NOT needing to enter hospital.

Breathe. Things won't always feel this bad.