Quote:
Originally Posted by qwertykeyboard
Ive been with the bf for a while now. Everything has gotten almost too 'comfortable': seeing each other, sex, whatever. We don't do anything fun anymore and quite frankly he's pretty boring. there have also been some things that have come up that i know he's probably not right for me in the end.
but in the end we have been seeing each other for a while and i do love him. i am not sure how my life would be without him. but i'm not sure if it's without specifically HIM or if i just cant imagine my life without a consistent, comfortable partner in crime.
has anyone else had experience with this situation? Do you end it or keep it going to stay comfortable? How do you end it? I just dont know how to end things like this - how do you just end seeing someone and end communication with them? was it the right decision?
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There's a big difference between comfort and boring/not fun IMO. I am extremely comfortable with my boyfriend of over a year, but he is not boring and we have a lot of fun whenever we are together. Love is great but it is not the only thing needed to make a relationship work/last. You say that you know he's probably not right for you, you have to trust your gut on those kinds of things. If you're unhappy, and it's not something that you can fix about the relationship, then it might be time to move on. How long is "a while?"
When I read your post I immediately thought of this article I read the other day:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/4-mistakes-that-are-built-into-your-brain/
"Sunk Cost Fallacy – Why You Just Can’t Give Up on Things You Should Give Up On
In the sunk cost fallacy, we use past decisions to justify irrational current decisions. Basically, we justify putting more time/effort/money into something because we have done so in the past, despite the fact that evidence indicates continuing the decision will outweigh future rewards. Sunk cost isn’t just a hyper persistent behavior, but rather persistence in the face of certain overwhelming evidence of potential future failure. Think of a relationship, one that you shouldn’t be in. I’m sure many of you have experienced that. How many times have you seen two people together and thought ‘why the hell are they together?’ It’s pretty hard to pull the plug on something that you’ve spent so much time in, especially if you still hold an irrational hope that things will change. The same goes with a job that you’ve done for years. You feel hesitant and scared to try something new. You’ve already spent so much time working hard; you can’t just leave now."