I can relate to this so much. I've noticed a pattern that any really totally awesome session is usually followed by one that is me sitting there all clammed up with a million things to say but not being able to say a single one. Don't worry about comparing yourself to other clients. I tend to fall into that trap of thinking "Oh, I can barely get anything out and I'm sure none of his other clients deal with that and can have a conversation at ease". I've also opened up to him at basically a snail's pace. I don't think any of that matters though, so don't fall into that trap too

I don't know if this applies to you, but I know because of my anxiety and inability to feel emotions in front of people, I've had to learn to be kind to myself and realize that the way I react every week is going to be different and pretty much out of my control and to not beat myself up for the whole "1 step forward, 2 steps back" thing that seems to be the story of my therapy experience. It seems that progress happens when it wants to happen.

I'm like you and I hate relying on email, so I've started taking in notes, whether it's my journal or if it's written on my phone. I literally just say, "I've written down something" and he patiently waits for me to spit it out. Sometimes it's really awkward because I really don't want to, but I don't think I've ever regretted it. I've both read word-for-word things that I've written and used my "notes" and thoughts as just a guideline or way to get a conversation started. It really helps to just bring something like that in and say that you've written something down. It helps me to just jump right in there because if I give myself too much of a chance to think about it, I'll talk myself out of doing it.

Most of all, be patient with yourself!