Question. If someone looks like a psychopath.how much of their behavior is out of their control?, With breakup I was told he was vomiting, not eating, but losing weight, Yet he would ask how much have you lost? like he wanted a medal. Everyone is feeling so sorry for the nice guy. I suspect he can cry at the drop of a hat. For the last year have felt like he was gaslighting. Asked him but he denied it. Things going missing, only to reappear, things getting broken. Plants I professed to love getting ripped out . He said he didn't know. Emotionally not there but quick to blame me. Perfect in front of people , attention getter.But at home always going for smokes, hardware, Chats up women everywhere and as he is an attractive man they hang around even when its our night out. We live in different towns. I have come to realize that at weddings, visiting friends, etc I am always alone. I remember those would be such fun to look forward to, before him. I am totally embarrassed to tell you I have spent 12 years in this and finally left 21/2 months ago. And yes he blows hot and then cold. come hither, go away. We have spent hours and hours on the phone . He says remember this and that reels me in and then says , hopefully if we meet there will not be any hatred etc. I told him a week and a 1/2 ago to not call me anymore or come near me. I have suspected after no intimacy for a year that he has been seeing someone else even though I has asked when we met if he wants out just tell me. He has been adamant there is no one. I cannot believe as I found lip gloss in our van , perfume he said came as a bonus from the liquor store.,