I discovered this term recently and realized it may actually describe my attitudes toward sex, which I've been devastated to learn don't fit into any orientation.

It goes like this: my attitudes toward sex range from curiosity to terror, with boredom being a frequent stopping point. In general the thought of having sex either doesn't interest me...or it terrifies me. I've literally broken down in tears from reading about people's sexual exploits (in an attempt to desensitize myself) I ended up so terrified.

The only sexual encounter I ever had was cybersex with someone I had built up a relationship with, and I did even that reluctantly - I was bored halfway through and mentally wiped out the next day, though anxiety was minimal. He talked later about us sleeping together for real and everything in me just panicked; we ended up breaking it off before anything happened.

It seems I've always had some aversion to sexual stuff - however, I have a libido, I masturbate periodically (though, never with insertion. I don't even wear tampons. The thought of having anything up there makes me want to faint and honestly is one thing that causes me a great deal of anxiety. I couldn't even have a gyn exam because I screamed when the speculum barely touched me), I believe I experience sexual attraction even based on looks - so I'm not demi or asexual. Which I take it to mean I have no excuse to not have sex if so attracted to someone. Then it's just prudery.

Worse still, there doesn't seem to be much reasoning for it. I was nevwr sexually abused, I didn't grow up super religious or repressed, it's an aversion that's just...there. A fear of pain in many ways.

Am I crazy?