I've dealt with my curiosity by giving in to it and then confessing to my T. I used to look her up on FB but I felt too hurt by what I saw. I don't do that anymore but I still Google her. I can't seem to/don't want to stop. She has said it's all right to Google her. She knows when I'm hiding something so I don't even try keeping it from her.

Recently I started a thread about something I found out about my T on Google. It triggered me badly and I was very upset. I had to talk with her about it because I had so many confused feelings. She wasn't angry that I saw it, and said our work is about how it affects me, not about her life.

I feel closer to her because she has had losses in her life and had feelings like mine. I was shocked by some of what I read, but T is human after all. I guess I'm unusual but I think it's wrong not to tell your T that you google them because they ought to expect it and should know how to deal with it.