Hahaha! Last night, I was talking to my SIL about my nervous breakdown (spawned by a convo about the new med) and I mentioned that I hated when I realized God calling me by name was a hallucination. She said, "really, you think it was a hallucination?" She told me once God spoke to her out loud and she remembers it clearly, she said she remembers exactly where she was standing and it gave her chills. I don't mean to lessen her experience but, isn't it more likely that that too was a hallucination rather than the actual voice of God? But, she didn't think so. She was also the second person I told about my 6 hour shower experience and she didn't think it was nuts. She believed that the Lord really was casting demons from me and that it really was the Holy Spirit and a huge miracle. She still doesn't dismiss the idea. And they think I'm crazy.
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*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
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