Hi everyone. I'm new here. Have been reading a lot of posts and decided to join. Hoping someone can help me out.

I suffer from anxiety and dysthemia. I can get bouts of pretty bad depression when under severe stress as we'll, but normally I am ok. I am also on mess for these things. My question is more for those with sever depression, and even weed addictions with your depression.

I recently had a breakup with my bf of 7 months. He suffered from depression, self loathing, and was addicted to weed. Smoked it everyday. A lot. We broke up because he said he was not capable of love and was too messed up. He hadn't wanted sex in the last month. His sex drive was literally gone. I was very broken up about this because I wanted to stay and support him. But he said he couldn't drag someone through it and that he didn't deserve to be loved. He was quite messed up. Said he wanted to get help. But then he never did.

I found out recently that he's been secretly having some sort of thing with this girl from another province at his same company. This will sound vain, but it's not meant to, she is quite unattractive and has many life issues and baggage going on in her life at the moment. How could he have no sex drive and be so messed up that he wanted to be alone, but then be with someone as soon as we broke up? Is this normal for depressed men? I know his weed addiction and the depression both caused the no sex drive. He admitted shortly into our relationship that he doesn't always have the highest sex drive. But we were good with that right up til the last month when it stopped. We had a great relationship. Then he just dumped me and said he just couldn't be with anyone because of the depression and no sex drive and that he finally wanted to get help for it. We stayed in touch for a bit. He asked me to help him. I tried but he wouldn't go. He doesn't know I know about this girl. I stopped talking to him when I found out a month ago because I was so heartbroken. He couldn't touch me, but he could be with someone else? She's not even his type physically or even with any of their interests.

I guess I'm just looking for some insight. Obviously this has triggered a depressive episode for me. I feel not good enough and undesirable and heart broken. I feel lied to. Although I do t know the extent of what's actually going on with them. From what I've heard it's her making all the effort coming here. He hasn't gone to see her yet and doesn't take time off work when she's here.

I am having a hard time moving past this since I do t know the truth and I don't understand how he could be so messed up and not horny, then be with someone straight after we break up. Someone who is not someone he'd ever normally go for physically. Is this normal behaviour for depressed men? I just don't understand. It's hard not to take it personally. He wanted so badly for us to stay friends but he hasn't reached out at all either. None of it makes sense and it's made my depression horrible.

I'm open to any advice anyone has on how i cam feel better about this. I cant eat or sleep and I just cry a lot and have no motivation to work even. I feel a mess really hoping someone has some advice or insight.

Thanks in advance!