I found that this was my reaction after getting out of the hospital also. There were times I just wanted to be safe & escape from the environment that was adding to my depression. At times this was accompanied by suicidal thoughts, others were just a desire to escape from where I was.

I found that I ended up getting into the cycle of suicide attempts, peramedics, hospital, home, suicidal thoughts, want to feel safe again, hospital, suicide attempt, paramedics, hospital, etc., etc. After a while, life was just a blur of hospitalizations.

This went on for years because I didn't stop after the first time when my psychiatrist hospitalized me a day after an overdose in an attempt to try to scare me. I ended up going between hospitalizations for safety from my suicidal thoughts & hospitalizations for actual suicide attempts.

Your feelings are natural because you do not feel strong enough to handle stress or upsets that surround you & you found comfort while being in the hospital. It is always best when you don't have the impulse for suicide, to use therapy to help you cope with the stress & upset. The hospital is used to keep us safe from ourselves or help us when we haven't been protected.

It is easy to get into the hospital cycle because of our desire to feel safe while we are weak & fragile, but try to find a psychologist or therapist who you can trust & to help you without the need to be hospitalized.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Debbie K