I disagree. If someone is severely depressed, there is nothing the spouse can do if the depressed person has given up on therapy and isn't trying to fight their way out. The spouse cannot "make" the other person happy. My previous partner had depression and I tried for years to help make her happy-- tried to get her to work, exercise, do therapy, talk to me, etc. She didn't want any of the help, yet she complained that she was miserable. I was miserable too! Finally, I left. Last I heard, she is still profoundly unhappy. (Luckily, I'm in a relationship now with someone else and I'm very happy!) I guess my point is that no one else can or should be responsible for another person's happiness. If someone is depressed, they need professional treatment. Even a caring spouse just doesn't have the tools to help the situation. It's the same when you're dating someone with an addiction. The only person who can decide to stop drinking & get well is the alcoholic, and they need professional help. Blaming the spouse or saying they aren't helping enough is a way of avdicating personal responsibility. I don't think a lot people realize how HARD it is to be in a relationship with someone who is severely depressed. At least in my relationship, I was the only one working, paying 100% of the bills, doing most of the housework, going to grad school full time, and trying to help my partner in every way I could think of. I was severely stressed out and overtired, and it was hard to see her napping on the couch most of the time when I was sleeping maybe 2-4 hours a night. The whole time, I got told I wasn't making her happy-- but I must be happy enough because I was keeping all the balls in the air and going on with life. There is no way the spouse in this situation is happy-- but someone has to pay the bills and keep food on the table.

If the OP is truly unhappy, then leave. Go to a treatment center. Get a job. Make some kind of change. Even if your spouse thinks he wants you to stay (probably out of fear or co-dependency), it is healthier for both of you if you get out of this miserable situation. Anyone who has lived in a house with a depressed person can tell you that no matter how well you think you are hiding it or how happy everyone else in the family seems, they are not. They can feel the depression and it feels like it is sucking the life out of everyone. You deserve to be happy! But the only one who can make you happy is you! It's hard work, but you can get well if you work at it. Your husband also deserves better than to be cheated on behind his back. He deserved the truth. He deserves to find someone else who will treat him right, just as you deserve someone who will make you happy, too.