And it's also part of what makes something a celebration. You're supposed to exchange gifts, and then he gives you nothing, and you feel like an idiot having nothing to open. What's worse, his attitude about it tried to kill the whole thing for my son.

When he came home tonight, I was mad. So, I only postponned the tears yesterday. I asked him why he had teased me by asking me last week what I wanted for Chanukkah. I said because he was trying to figure out what I wanted for my birthday, which is in a week. He made an excuse about the Chanukkah gifts that he didn't have time to get any- not true.
His logic doesn''t even make any sense!

His reaction to my being upset was just to get angry and defensive, like it always is. If I dare to criticize him at all, that's what he always does. No compassion for me, only anger.

So, as usual, yet another holiday ruined. I told him to forget about seeing me or any gift for my birthday, and that I am not going with him to his work holiday party next week. Why should we pretend we are celebrating the holidays when he already ruined ours? I haven't gone with him to the last few parties we were invited to from work because we are always fighting.

He just doesn't get me and will never put me first. I am completely defeated and depressed, giving up any desire to do anything except sit here in the dark. This man absolutely killed my spirit.