Do you have a therapist for yourself? If you do not, I suggest you get one to help you sort out these issues. You and your hubs' family have enabled the hubs to play Little Boy Take Care of Me for so long, of course he is going to kick up a fuss now that you want him to man up.

Your child is already being affected by having an alcoholic parent.

Considering you are not getting your major needs met: love, affection, sex, support--both financial and emotional, a safe, well-ordered home--

Why are you staying with this man?

If this were my situation, I'd put a time limit on it: 6 mos; I'd get counseling for myself and notify the hubs that things will change or we'd go our separate ways; if he pulls the "the child lives with me" I'd remind him that as an unemployed alcoholic with a hording problem, the child would be better off with me and not let custody be used as a leveraging tool for him to continue to get his own way.

Meanwhile I'd be figuring out a budget; looking into suitable places to live; giving consideration to where the child goes to school, etc.

He'll likely ask for alimony. I'd want a good attorney to help me put a time limit on that. He's stayed out of the workforce long enough.