Thanks for the replies, that was quick.

Life for me on meds is just safer. I desperately miss mania as I am a very high achiever under those circumstances, but hate the depression, hence meds. I have attempted suicide once and been hospitalized twice when not on my meds. I have also drained our back account and binged on drugs. The meds work, I just feel tired and unintelligent most of the time.

I am talking to my Dr. about Adderall as I have taken it before and it seemed to keep me out of the haze of depression. My doc thinks it will lead to more manic periods and he is probably right, but I need my edge back. It seems to be a winter thing as in the summer, I don't feel so lethargic. I already have a full spectrum lamp and that doesn't work. Anyone have experience with bipolar and Adderall?