I'm sorry for not introducing myself in the proper forum first but I got kind of stuck. So I'll try and start by sharing little bits.

I'm in my early thirties and always been picky. I used to bite nails, now I pick scabs and pull hair.

My hair is falling out at an alarming rate. It's really disheartening. I think I lost half of it in the last year, due to the pulling and malnutrition from ED and depression, yes, I'm all kinds of disturbed. I'm taking vitamin B12 and iron supplements, no results yet, and gathering the courage to have my hormones checked.

So now I'm stuck with this incredible urge to give myself a buzzcut. I'm not well enough to go to a hairdresser. I think I need to take it all off to make me stop pulling, it might work because I learned to stop biting nails when I had my nails done for a while, they were too pretty to ruin and it was near impossible to chew through them.

But I'm hestitant because of my self esteem. A bit paranoid, I wouldn't want to feel even more gawked at. Because of the ED I'm skinny and worried that I will look sick, but the thinning hair doesn't look very healthy either. The acne scars will probably be more pronounced. On the other hand, I care less and less about being attractive. I always hated myself, so people thinking I was pretty just confused me and never caused me to appreciate myself. This could be some kind of symbolic rebirth. I just might feel really badass. And I'm really curious if he would still love me...

Thoughts? Anyone wanted or tried this? And what do you think of women with buzz- or crewcuts?