Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountainbard
I'm sorry you've gotten some sarcastic/unhelpful replies here. That is not the norm for these forums, and it makes me a little embarrassed. I understand that you are trying to help your daughter and you really need some support. From what you've described it sounds like your daughter's behavior is a long way beyond the "defiant teenager" norm. I'm not sure about the diagnosis of ODD-- sometimes I think it's just a rationalization for why kids act out. But it sounds to me like something else is going on with your daughter besides BP. I can't diagnose but from your description of her behavior I'd ask her professional caregiver whether it's possible she has BPD. I also hope you're able to find a local support group (or therapist) to work with. You're being asked to handle an awful lot. I wish you all the best in getting some effective help and support in dealing with this, and I'm sending you positive energy.
|
First of all, thank you for being so kind. I do see some people have reacted kind of as if I just have a regular teenager and it's me who is crappy, but I am here out of desperation. I have tried to be a good parent for years and years, and constantly asked myself if her behavior was in the 'regular' range, and as the years have passed I've realized more and more, no this isn't in any way 'normal' and as much as my life is hard, I am not only worried about me, I'm worried because my daughter thinks her life is crap and I'm trying to help her. It's just that its hard to record everything on an online forum. There's SO much I could write, but I seriously could write a novel. All I tried to do was provide some examples and the poignant aspects of what I see as personality traits of hers that are extreme. I do appreciate those of you who have realized this, and I have found all of your replies more than helpful.
I want to say to you in particular and for the people who have mentions that it sounds a bit like BPD, I am now realizing that his may be the case. Her therapist did mention it once or twice, but since she is 16, no-one is really committing to say that's what it is 100%. After you all mentioned it, I looked it up because unlike bipolar which I had researched, I had no idea what BPD is.
Now that I think that may be it, what can I do to help her? I'll go back and reread because I think a few of you have mentioned a certain type of therapy. I'm going to back to her psych and tell her I am sure she has aspects of if not all aspects of BPD and ask her advice.
As for those going on about her behavior, I have been punishing her before for her actions, or disciplining her, but instead of changing her behavior, she either makes out like she is a victim, as if we are cruel and unnecessary, and it doesn't change her behavior. It's as if when she does things she is in some kind of alternate reality, then after she acts like nothing has happened. I don't think I'm just trying to put a 'label' on my naughty 16 year old, I believe that like is supported by this reply, her behavior is WAY beyond regular teenager defiance. I can't type it all exactly what she is like, but I can assure you, I've spent hours and hours thinking about it and trying things. For heaven sake she has been in therapy for 2 years plus and still behaves the same. It's like no adult can get through to her. You also cannot reach her or make her be rational when she is caught up in things. She seems to love arguing and fighting and has stood in my kitchen goading me and goading me, and she had the determination to go on and on for hours until I finally flipped and she seemed to get a thrill out of it. I've learned now not to respond at all when she is pushing my buttons, but my worry is that she is addicted to causing drama, having a fight. It's worrying.
Anyway, I digress. Many, many thanks for those of you who have taken the time to type me a considered reply, and I really have been given some ideas I never thought of. I just hope I can help my child in time so that she can have the happiest life she can.