If it wasn't for mania I honestly don't believe I would've graduated from college. I too am struggling with whether or not meds will help me be "normal." I was on Citalopram and Loxitane for awhile, and it honestly helped. I was moving a bit slower, but I was still pretty motivated. I even got a good job, and was on my way to a promotion. However, I thought I was "cured" and stopped and now I am homeless for the third time. I know medication is probably going to be the only thing that gives me a chance at a normal life. That and a good therapist.