Hedgeleaf, to become an ex one must no longer be a part of our lives. That means no communication, no reaching backwards to what ifs and what was. It means no letters, no gifts, no forget something, it means to stop doing things that make you think about them. You have to heal and get better. You will know when you have reached this stage when the name or thought of them makes you feel nothing. After a divorce it takes roughly two years to adjust to being single and your own person again. You have to sift through being a couple to being your own person. And that is friends, activities, associations, just about everything. And as you do it gradually it is not in hateful rash, or haste. I hope this helps. Block the number with the telephone company both ways for 3 months to start with. And refuse all their mail from the USPS. And then do things at different times and new routines. The healing will be magnificent. Blessings.