I know what you mean. When I was 19 I quit school and decided to become a rockstar. I covered my arms in tattoos and bought guitars. I couldn't even play. I held band auditions, and I thought I could learn guitar in a week or two. At the time I genuinely believed that I was going to be a rockstar. Now I look back and I wonder why no one in my life saw how crazy I was behaving. My family doesn't believe in mental illness, so they just let me walk around being crazy. During that same time I learned German, and spent $3,000 on a trip to Germany that I never even went on, because by the time the trip came up I was over it.

Even now I have days where I don't want to believe anything is wrong. When I get like that I just remember that time, and the few others where I was clearly unstable.