oh after this I don't think I'll be interested in any kind of close relationship. I just can't see it. But maybe that'll change as I work on my self-esteem and learn to start trusting myself more. If I trusted my gut in the first place, I'd have been fine. That and having solid boundaries.

It's weird. I thought I'd be happier knowing that the problem wasn't entirely with me. But instead I feel bad. I feel sad for her situation, but I know if I think like that I'm never going to get over this. I don't know. I still care about her, and that scares me a lot. I probably shouldn't have said she's evil in my last post. I feel bad about that. You know, when I spoke to her I wanted to just say hey... I know you have these issues, but we can work on them together as friends. But I feared that calling her out like that might cause more harm than good. You're right, this is the best outcome I could have hoped for given the circumstances.