I feel like life is meaningless. A rat race. I feel like it's all stupid & not worth it. I can function still but keep ruminating on self destruction. Is this depression. I know it may sound like a stupid question but is this what others also experience?

Currently feeling very alone & disillusioned. I want to enjoy life not go through the motions. Also feeling really disconnected. Like when I talk I sound completely incongruent with how I feel. Wearing a mask.