I told my husband last night that I hate every day of my life. Is that depression?

My assumption is that people who aren't depressed can hate every day of their lives.

But since I can't identify the way I feel, I don't know.

I did cry myself to sleep.

Which is pretty sad.

I called my pdoc because I'm worried about how much weight I've been gaining. And I'm uncertain if this lamictal and gabapentin combination is such a good thing. The nurse called back and said my pdoc wanted me to keep on taking my meds the way they are, until my appointment next week and we'd discuss it further.

I definitely don't feel anxious. I've been very relaxed. Almost too relaxed. My husband told me it's been nice, but that it's a little uncharacteristic of me. Normally I'm an energetic person. Lately my *** has been on the couch, watching stupid shows. Right now our apartment is a disaster.

I just feel so... relaxed. Almost like I'm high all of the time or something.

Anyway. I think gabapentin was good for the tail end of my clonazepam withdrawal, but it's not something I want to stay on permanently. I'm going to ask about buspar.

Alright.

Sorry this all was sort of pointless.

I mean, does anyone else hate everyday of your life?

I wake up every morning wanting to stab myself in the face.