Seriously, it's not about "blame" and "fault". It is about what is working and what is not and apparently, since the OP's daughter is not being exactly managable... their current approach is not working.

I was horrified by mention of book about "bipolar child" and how it says you shouldn't really parent bipolar kids. I feel problem with the OP seeming to be afraid of her daughter's reaction, which may be making the problem worse. I am concerned that kids get slapped on label of bipolar, even if their issues are varied and likely something else, and along the bipolar "but she is ill" excuse comes in, reassuring the undesired behaviors and patterns.


Whatever. If OP wants to hear there is a magic combo of meds that will turn her TEENAGER daugther into a perfect kids, that it's not her fault (nobody's fault in fact, eh)... there are apparently plenty people here to give this blanket reassurance.