ellen degeneres said once in her original sitcom "im scared of being afraid". it reminds me that sometimes fear is the worse part and what actually comes after isnt a patch on the fear beforehand.
you have support here skittles if things to go badly but somehow i think from reading your posts here that you re enough of a survivor to get through whatever life throws at you.
i do know scared though. it sucks. can you find some way to focus on what security you have at the moment and what you have for the future? or some way to lessen the anxiety in general, maybe by doing something nurturing for yourself?
good luck and take care of yourself
biiv