Only way I can get a job is to lie, lie, omit, and lie some more.

If something on my history looks bad, I leave it off the resume and never mention it.

If an employer is looking for some sort of specific skill set, I exaggerate experience in a previous job to make it sound like I have those skills / experience.

I come up with noble or normal sounding explanations for gaps in employment on my resume.

And I make sure that every omission, exaggeration or lie cannot be verified one way or another.

I choose my references wisely, in some cases having family members or a friend pose as a former coworker and saying great things about me when called.

The biggest lie takes place in the interview itself, where I pretend like I'm really excited and eager to be there. "Oh yes, I've always thought it would be fun to work at a Taco Bell, I stop at the one near my house all the time and it seems like a great atmosphere!" (Most recruiters will see this as a sign that you are very naive and a sucker, it is good to let them believe that.)

The real trick to getting a low-wage job is to tell them what they want to hear, and cherry-pick your resume. You can think of it as a decent initiation ritual for all of the faking you'll need to do to appease a thousand crazy a-hole customers.