For as long as I can remember I've never felt like I can be myself. 9 months ago I sought professional help to deal with some issues from the past and combat my depression and anxiety. I was in a marriage I knew was failing and almost immediately after that got divorced. Reflecting on my life I can see where my short-comings were. I have very low interpersonal communication and often feel like I have no opinions on everything causing me to be more quiet and reserved. I've been self-diagnosing myself for years flipping between several personality disorders, I brought up a few to my dr's and always got denied. I don't know if it would help having a diagnosis or not but I feel like I need a name for whatever it is. The latest have been Avoidant PD and now Borderline PD. Frankly, I'm sick of being told I'm normal and only have minor issues, these minor issues are pushing me down the rabbit hole and I often feel like I'm spiraling out of control. My behavior has become more reckless lately and even though I can see it, I still do these things. I think having a diagnosis will help me to reach out to similar people and figure out how to fix these broken things inside of me.