Im not sure that even a sex therapist or a sex surrogate would discuss how they themselves do it. I think this falls under boundaries. My t told me what he made for a dinner party one time and i found a way to criticize it - some evilness in me just had to make a joke that if he had invited me, i wouldnt be able to crap for a week with all the cream cheese on the menu. That was my mother talking, but still. Your t doesnt need your parent in their head - they have their own to deal with. That might not be THE reason but dam girl, get you some reading material!