Hi All --

There was a time, back in 2004-2005, when I made a real effort to post an answer to every post on Depression, the board that I needed most in my life. After I a while, I posted in General, too. It was harder to keep up there.

I left PC for about 18-20 months; came back because I was lonely. Now, I mostly post here and a bit in General. I post in Depression when I am depressed, but I find it sadly depressing to hang out there and offer support when I am in recovery and my symptoms are alleviated.

I also secretly feel impatient with some members, when I see the members post year after year about the same things and not seem to do anything to change their situations. And I feel GUILTY about that. It is judgmental, and I KNOW how hard it can be to DO ANYTHING when I am depressed and fatigued. This is an illness, and I know it is like saying, "So why don't you just get over that cancer (or HIV infection or lupus)? I am soooooo tired of hearing you whine about it."

So my judgmentalness is slap up against my presumably better self -- a self that is less ignorant and wants to be compassionate. But the result is that I just don't reply to people who may need a little hug or acknowledgment. Geez, it's enough to make me feel depressed again.