Do you have a depression or bipolar diagnosis? I have constant, crippling, overwhelming feelings of shame and guilt when I'm depressed, but I don't seem to hear that voice when I'm not depressed. While the rest of my brain fades from the depakote and the bong, a subsystem remains active and incredibly agile, picking out memories of failures and transgressions to torture myself with. If I could harness the power of the part of my mind determined to torment me I could do all kinds of constructive things.