What is the "C" for? Couldn't find any mention of it on Google. I'll look into that book but can't really spend money on books right now. I can find out what it's about though and do other research.
I've considered PTSD before but always told myself nothing that bad really happened to me. Obviously my dad dying was one... but I suffered from anxiety long before that. Though I won't deny that it has made me more paranoid about early death, I can't even bear to think about other loved ones dying, especially my boyfriend. I'm terrified that we'll only have a few years together and then he'll get sick or have an accident and I'll be alone again.
I even sometimes tell myself... well don't really tell myself, it's just kinda in the back of my mind, that if someone I love dies and I don't think I can cope, I can always end my own life. It's not something I consider often and I'm not suicidal. But on the rare occasion I do think about the horrible possibility of losing my boyfriend, I tell myself I can't do it again. I never want to feel that way again, and if I put this much time and effort into a relationship that ends in early death, I just won't see the point in dragging myself into life and doing it all over again.
But I always figured this was (more or less) usual for people who experience traumatic loss. At least I wasn't present when it happened, as my step-brother was. He was 5 at the time, and didn't actually see what happened, but he was there. I don't know much about his mental health these days, but again, even before the death, he was an anxious little child.

Also if you want to get really technical you could say I have a history of sexual abuse... but is it a history if it only happened once, and is it abuse if he didn't do what he intended to, and stopped when I told him to?
I was 14, it was only a month or two before my dad died actually. The boy I was dating was 17 and had had sex, and I was a virgin, but just reaching that point where I was curious and had sexual desires. Well one night we were on the roof of my house and he tried to convince me to let him put it in, and I said no. So he talked me down to just looking at me without my underwear. I hesitated even then and asked if he really thought he could control himself. He said yes, so I conceded, and then he went and did it anyway. It didn't hurt. I think I froze for a second. I don't really remember if I pushed him off or just told him to get off. He didn't really *do* anything after the penetration. But I do remember crying afterward, being unreasonably paranoid that I could get pregnant from that tiny contact, etc. I broke up with him the next day, and he turned into a psycho, begging me to take him back and saying he would commit suicide, even trying to bribe me with a Nintendo DS. Eventually he left me alone, and he came to my dad's funeral but didn't speak to me. But not long after that he found out my phone number from a mutual friend and started stalking me again.
Honestly, I don't know how traumatizing this really was. At the time I was scared, yes. But very soon I had much bigger things to worry about. And in the years since, I've never once felt afraid of him, or afraid that it would happen again. Nowadays I feel nothing but contempt for him and his type, and know I would be strong enough to not make the same mistake again.
If anything about it was truly traumatizing, it was what happened a couple years later. His current girlfriend at the time contacted me online and asked if he had ever tried to rape me. Apparently he did the same with her, rather more violent than he had been with me. Which it then occurred me, maybe I just got very lucky that we happened to be on a roof above my dad's head. But she didn't tell her parents about it, or the authorities, and I felt ashamed of myself that I hadn't done anything. I'd told myself it was a fluke, that he wasn't a bad person, just a confused teenager with raging hormones. But, like the other girl, I had been too ashamed. I feel like if he had been more violent, I would have gone to the police. But he made me think he was just overwhelmed, he wasn't really violent. So I didn't tell, and neither did she.
Actually I did, years later, tell my story to the local PD. I only did so because the other ex girlfriend and I had taken to keeping an eye on him online, trying to warn other girls who came into his web. We noticed he had been spending a lot of time at the house of a special education girl, and her parents obviously thought he was a sweet boy. I knew there couldn't be an innocent reason for his friendship with this vulnerable girl. So I told her parents, even though I knew they likely wouldn't believe me. And then I called the police and gave them my statement, and told them about the girl he seemed to be targeting, and asked that they keep an eye on him. It felt great. But not good enough to erase the consequences of my inaction in the first place.
As far as I know, he's still at large. I heard from a friend he went a little crazy though. Probably was all along.
Anyway that story ended up being much longer than I meant...
I'm just not sure if that counts as "trauma", especially since I don't have any sexual anxiety.