(There may be triggers in here and I can't figure out how to post that red thing ) I've been back and fourth with this and I don't know that answer .: I'm not sucidal I have sucidal ideation ..overwhelming yes I mean I drive down the road and happily imagine crashing into a tree .. This headache I have right now .. I would like to swallow 29 pills for and then slam my head against the cement .. But I won't kill myself I can't that's besides the point .. I'm miserable tho not wanting to live is taken the place of living .. But if I'm content with that and don't think it can be changed .. If I think my actual life is this .. Is there really any help .. Is it worth trying ? My therapist brought up admitting myself the other day but I said I was fine .. Then went home and cried all day and missed work the next .. I'm not fine I'm screwed up .. But is this more then normal ?