My anxiety has no wind up - it hits me full blast constantly and sometimes for no reason. My problem is, when I get anxious, or am just feeling depressed/down, something will annoy me and whilst I would usually just get annoyed and keep it to myself, when I'm feeling (the above) I get pissed off so much.

For instance, and the reason I'm asking this, I had an argument with my boyfriend after playing video games with him and his friends (which makes me really anxious and the argument was about me being anxious), my brother came home and started blaring his music whilst in the bathroom. We have a fake wall between my room and the bathroom, so I could hear it as if it was in my ear. My mum wasn't home tonight so I couldn't go ask her to talk to him (me and my brother are constantly bickering). I shouted through to the bathroom to turn it off because I was trying to sleep. So instead I got frustrated and used my heel to kick a hole in my wall... then I broke down crying. He didn't stop playing it so after he went into his room, I told him to stop playing it and he told me he could do whatever he liked and I couldn't stop him (he's a 24 year old firefighter /ex-bouncer so yeah) and then I proceeded to punch three holes in his door.. and I'm pretty sure my little finger/side of my hand is pretty badly brusied.

So yeah. I'm pissed at myself because I shouldn't react like that. There was no need for it. But it's almost like I lose myself and just go crazy and can't control it. Because at the time, I feel like I can't control it (I know, in reality I can).. I'm just here asking how the hell I control it and keep my calm when my anxiety is pounding down on me and little things annoy me to the point of putting holes in walls and hurting myself.

Please don't judge and call me some psycho anger management needing person. I know it's wrong. I hate it. I would never phsycially hurt someone else though - that has to be made clear. All though at times I would very much like to, I don't and I never will.