Hello August 7682: Well, first of all, please don't feel guilty about being here. There are all sorts of people here for all sorts of reasons. Your reason is as valid as anyone else's. You know... I sense allot of depression & discouragement around in general recently. There is SO MUCH bad news out there. Just this morning I was reading about the aftermath of the earthquake in Nepal, flooding in the Tamil Nadu region in India, & of course the latest terrorist attacks, & the ongoing war in Syria. I don't know how other people are feeling. But, I must say, all of it is certainly adding to my own depression. Oh... & then, of course, it's the darkest time of the year right now where I live.

Personally, I feel guilty & stupid about things I've done in the past all of the time. It's a constant thing with me. Sometimes I think I can conjure up a bad memory for each & every situation that arises day-to-day. Sometimes I catch myself doing this & realize that the thing I'm obsessing over actually occurred almost half a century ago! It's just crazy. But I can't help it.

So what I would say is that what you're experiencing is not all that out of the ordinary. It is probably a mixture of depression (maybe some of it seasonal?), & anxiety. And of course, if you're not sleeping this just makes matters seem all that much worse. Perhaps the natural disaster you mentioned is also having some lingering effects of which you are not consciously aware. There aren't really any easy answers for any of this. Some individual therapy might be helpful. There's meditation, physical exercise, and other such stuff. The thing is, from my perspective, to borrow a teaching from the Buddha... nothing is hidden. There are no "secrets" out there of which you are unaware. The available remedies are all in plain view for all to see. It's simply a matter to trying different things until you find something that works for you. I wish you well...