Hello jtesta33: I am sorry you have reached such a low point. I know that having people around you who love you can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, their warmth & caring can be comforting. But, on the other hand, it means you can't simply lay down & give up when sometimes that is all you feel you are capable of doing. At least this has been my experience. I hope that you can reach out to those people who love you & gain the support you need during this most difficult time. I send warm thoughts your way with the hope that it might be so...