Hello imstarlord89: Overcoming depression can be a terrible struggle, especially when you're trying to go it alone. My personal experience has been that, as long as I have been willing to hide my mental health issues, everyone around me has been more than happy to play along too. They have their own problems. And they really don't want anything to do with mine if they can avoid it. This means that I have to deal with my own problems myself to the extent that I am able. In some ways I have succeeded. In other ways I have failed miserably. But it is what it is.

Perhaps, since you don't seem to be able to get the better of your depression by yourself, it's time to consider such things as therapy & / or antidepressant medications (assuming you're not already doing these sorts of things.) Beyond that, I would encourage you to keep posting here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more connected to the community you will become & the more likely it is you will find other members with whom you can share experiences & concerns. In that regard, I have read that the various chat groups are sometimes particularly helpful. You might consider giving them a try. My best wishes to you...