My honest (and perhaps a bit harsh) opinion is that you should back off and give people their space.
They might be going through troubles of their own, you should try to understand and respect that.
It's your choice to take their silence personally and keep poking them for a reply. But people are going to be fed up with you at some point, understandably enough.
So again, in my opinion: be a friend to them, too, and leave them be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 10yrsgone
I have a major problem with real-life friends not responding to my texts or Facebook messages. Because I'm the way I am, I take things very personally.
Here's an example: A very close online friend (who will eventually be meeting up with me in person) is the only one I opened up to about seeking help. Yesterday, I sent her a message about my concern for a mutual friend. The timestamp reads "Read At: _:_ PM" without a response.
The most hurtful one for me is someone I consider my closest childhood friend. He just isn't good at keeping up with me anymore. I either have to "catch him" when he's around his phone or just wait for him to text. Any time I've tried to ask him to hang out or wonder what he's doing, he just never answers. Doesn't even have the courtesy to say "hey, sorry I didn't see your text, I was busy"...nothing of the sort. He just leaves me hanging for days or weeks and makes me feel I'm annoying him.
The reason I mention "annoying" is I used to message friends on Facebook, which also has the "Read at _:_" timestamp attached. I would send a message, it would get "read", and I wouldn't hear from the person. I would send them another one eventually, asking if they saw the previous one. Still, no response but I'd still get the "read" message. Eventually, I would correspond a final time and the person would send back a passive-aggressive message. I wasn't outpouring or oversharing, I was simply asking how things were!!!
Is it them, or is it me? Yes, I know --- people are not around their phones 24/7 and by that extension do not need to reply immediately. I do the same thing, but I at least let my friends know I wasn't able to reply. It's a small piece of courtesy I always try to instill if I miss out on a text. But the instances above of friends either leaving me hanging or snapping back at me if I "annoy" them, when I was only trying to start a normal conversation?
Should I give up texting these people and try calling them, or should I just not bother until they want to initiate a conversation with me? I could try the latter, but I always have to be the one initiating conversations and plans. It's starting to make me sick.  |