Just a thought - but is it really a *problem*? If you don't feel sexually aroused when masturbating then can you just not do it?
When I am not hungry I do not eat. When I am not tired I do not sleep. When I don't feel aroused I don't have sex, or masturbate.
Does a lack of sexual arousal *need* to be a problem? I can see where it could definitely be a problem when, in the context of a relationship, one partner wants it more than the other. If that isn't an issue though, I am curious as to why you feel you 'should' masturbate. You say you want to, but if you are not experiencing physical urges to do so (sexual arousal) then where is the 'want' coming from?

Are you taking birthcontrol pills? I find it really decreases my libido.

I have psychological issues with sex but its hard to talk about it, I have tried but it was more like saying - I have issues. And thats all. Im afraid to talk more about it but I talked to my gynecologist who told me to take painkillers but T thinks its crazy, its all we discused. I dont know how talking about it could help me except if t suggested me something but he said I dont need sexual partner if it hurts physically and I can do it by myself.

Maybe your T doesnt know how to help you and thinks that this book is good for you. Maybe its worth to read it and then discuss it with your T.

Thinking more about this... I wonder if it is more about your T than about your actual sexual experiences. I wonder if you feel she is withholding on you, or that she has something you don't have, and you want her to give it to you. (From your comments about thinking she *could* give you information but simply won't.) Of course she could give you information. Equally, you could go looking for it yourself. Wanting to know how *she* masturbates makes me wonder if you need that as fuel for your own fantasies.

I have had issues with sex for a long time and I was always convinced they were 100% emotional, since like others have said, stress, depression and anxiety can do a number on sex drive. That said, like you I finally brought up the issue with my gyno since I thought my discomfort was due to me when in fact it is actually a physical issue. Quite frankly, it may be a physical issue that morphed into an emotional one and not the other way around. Anyway, if your difficulty persists I would not assume it's psychological and bring it up with your doctor rather than your T. There is only so much therapy can accomplish in a situation like this.

I just wanted to clarify that I don't mean to imply that wanting or needing that is wrong or anything - I don't believe it is. When I reread it it sounded judgmental but I don't mean it to be!
I just meant it as a rhetorical question, wondering if there is a different motive behind this than the apparent one. No judgment or anything else intended!

I sort of understood the problem as inability to orgasm, not a lack of desire. Totally different problems. Which is it rainbow? (If you feel like saying, that is!)

I'm not used to being so open about sex. I grew up in the time when you waited til marriage! Gasp! Don't all faint. Failure to orgasm. Thanks, FJ.

This should be a no brainer.... some years ago you wrote on the forum that you were ... uhm..."going solo" while thinking of your T.

So you try and figure out why she is recommending a BOOK and your inabiity to orgasm as your relationship may have changed somewhat?

Please don´t confuse healthy adult sexuality for infantile erotisism.

Okay I can't speak for everyone but I'm still standing. Didn't even have to reach for the smelling salts though I might be clutching my pearls just a little!

So, uh, lots of people find a little weed to be helpful in this situation. Just sayin'. Also, this might be more than what you had in mind, but I've also read that some genital piercings (look up Elayne Angel and VCH piercing) can enhance sensation and be helpful for women who've never had an orgasm. Lastly, and just punch my arm if I'm totally overstepping here because I can do that sometimes, but um, what about your sexual orientation? I think you've mentioned elsewhere that it's been a cause of anxiety in general (beyond ET with your T) and in my experience sex/orgasm generally goes better when you're having sex (or even just imagining sex) with a person who really turns you on.

Are you talking about masterbation? Are you wanting to know if your T masterbates?