First, welcome to PC

If your therapist was concerned enough to think hospitalization was an option and you are not sure...call her back and discuss it, tell her it's scary and your uncertain but something needs to change...to start progress toward a better life.....even if it feels like life can't ever get better at this point. When feeling like your are feeling these impulses and you could in a moment act on that feeling of crashing into a tree even if you think you can't do it, impulsively. It's part of being bipolar.

I can't say wether or not you need the hospital but I encourage you to call yout T and listen to her. Right now it doesn't sound like your in a good place to be making serious desicions, let her help.