I've read so much here on PC about transference that it has got me wondering....
I have come to the conclusion (what I say here could be very wrong, and please if you disagree, please say so as that is what this post is about - seeing different views etc.) that if you enter therapy with a complete awareness of what transference is and why it could be likely to crop up, that you will be less likely to develop these intense feelings?
I have learned so much already from seeing my T. As someone who shies away from all meaningful relationships and is terrified of intimacy, there is literally nobody that I am close to. I have found myself becoming attached to my T ( not the kind I feel right before I push that person away for good, the kind that feels like it will actually last, for the first time in my life) I mean, she is so unlike my mother who was always an unpredictable drunk and very difficult person for anyone to be around. There are no consequences for talking things through with T. She understands, she is calm, she is great, she is everything I think I always wanted. When I am in crisis or having a problem/ hard time my instinct is to keep those closest to me away as it is not safe to show weakness or have feelings in front of them. Now I can imagine one person that I would potentially trust in those situations, T.
So where is my transference? Why haven't I developed it? Not that I'm complaining but I just don't get it. I think I had transference for my school guidance counsellor years ago, I didn't understand at the time, it just felt like I was in love. Although she was nice I didn't tell her a whole lot. She was really unreliable and not particularly helpful, but she did try and I guess that was enough at the time to make me love her. And the shame of the whole thing and not understanding made it so much worse. All in all she was not even a fraction as great as T.
I've since learned all about transference and was glad that falling in love with an older woman was not just my weird thing. I started therapy armed with this info 6 months ago. So my question is, is this why I haven't developed transference? Or is it still early days? It only took like a week with my guidance counsellor. I would love your thoughts and your own experiences